Fear

Fear is an evil thing. It can control your every action, your every move of the day. It can block you from experiencing new things, or learning others. But it spreads all over your body and freezes you, not letting you do what you had actually planned. It’s like a controll-freak, taking over yourself. Fear of a certain place is known to me right now. I really should go there, it is infact really necessary for my future, but I just can’t. Body slightly trembling, mind blocked. But what do I have to lose? Nothing, really, I guess. How can it be stronger than my own will? And what comes more, I used to be at this placce every day for a very long time. Mostly every day, meeting the same people, feeling safe and almost at home there. And now I am frightened? I know the reasons of course, there are two. A person I am enxious to meet again and the place itself, being what it is – prepairing me for my future, which is essential of course. When will I find the strength again to override this fear and become the person I was a few months ago, feeling free to spend time there, start studying again and taking care of the most important thing in my life? I am scared…. And I could cry over myself… I’even letting down nice people who trust in me… I am ruining everything. I guess I am just not stong enough…